Learning things…

I had a meeting with the child advocate social worker on our case today.

It is his role to speak for the kids at court.  He is the speaker for the kids.

It was the first time I had met with this gentleman.

Which is too bad really because he is the only person involved in this case who has been involved in this case since the start.

We learned about where the babes were living : abandoned buildings, drug houses and the occasional shelter.

We learned that the kiddos were all born with traces of drugs in their systems: PCP, marijuana and cocaine

We learned that mom failed to care for her kids in monumentally horrible ways and somehow still managed to keep them.

He was trying to explain how it was that she had three babies that tested positive for drugs and still kept them.

He doesn’t know.

And he was so happy to see the affectionate, outgoing amazingly bonded children today.

He was touched.

He said as much but we could also see it.  He talked a little about the little children he met almost a year ago and how these are not those children.

And he asked if there was anything we needed.  Anything we had questions about.  And he meant it.  He wanted to be helpful.

And we could have used him a few months ago.

But it was nice to have him today.

He was impressed with us.  All that we know about the case, the fact that we go to the court dates, the fact that we are so committed to these children in our care.

He was pleased to know that these two children have such an option available to them.

He was happy to see them so happy.

It was nice to have him today.

And the information he shared made me angry.  And my anger was directed at the biological mother of these children.

I had viewed her as unintentionally negligent.  But she wasn’t.

She was ruining her kids from the moment of conception.

And my little boy, who still doesn’t speak well, may have long lasting permanent damage.

Because of her.

And I no longer have sympathy for her plight.

I wanted to give her the benefit of understanding that her upbringing caused some of her failures.   And I wanted to make concessions for her life choices.

But I can’t.

And I don’t want her anywhere near my children.

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