Frenemies

My daughter had a tough time with a girl at camp this year.

It got so bad that the counselors separated them and I got a call from the director.

This girl used to be a good friend to my daughter.

They hadn’t seen each other in almost a year and then they had camp together.

It was a bad situation.  All summer long.

This girl has changed.

That’s the only explanation I have.  Something is going on there.

And then camp ended and my daughter learned how to stand up for herself, how to be strong in the face of adversity and she felt good about the lessons.

And then school started.  And the two girls have before and after care together.

Her abuse has turned from physical to verbal.

This morning my daughter told me that (let’s call her Gina).  Gina had told my daughter that she needs to dress hotter.

I told my daughter that there is no such thing as a hot 7-year-old.

And I seethed.  Inside.

And I told my daughter all the things that we are supposed to tell your daughters.

No one’s opinion but yours matters.

Do you think you look good?  That’s all that matters.

You are the only one that gets to decide what you think you should wear (and you know, me and daddy).

And blah blah blah all that self-confidence stuff.

And she still looked troubled.  And I get that.  Because really, it’s just talk.

So I knelt down, looked her right in the eye and told her as much.

It’s hard.  People will always have something to say.  And there will always be someone out there who doesn’t like you, or what you wear or what you say.

You just have to decide to feel good about who you are and how you look.

You.  That’s it.  no one else.

It’s not easy, but it is simple.  It’s up to you.

And she hugged me.  And said she understood.

And she let me know that she liked the top and the skirt she was wearing and that she would let Gina know that her mom said there is no such thing as a hot 7-year-old. (thank you)

And a little later she asked why I think it is that Gina acts that way.

And I told her that there are just some people who act that way because it makes them feel good to make others feel bad.

And she said

“Yeah, bullies.  But that’s not Gina.  That’s not the way she was a year ago when we were friends…what happened to her?  I want to be her friend.  But she’s making it so hard.”

And that is just one of the reasons I love my daughter.

She is already a better person than I am.

 

awe-some.

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