Just want to send out a big rude finger gesture to my sister-in-law today.
I have been blue about her lately. Thinking about her makes me blue. The end.
I have been tied up in knots about the fact that my 10th wedding anniversary is this year and so that means the 10th anniversary of her death is coming too.
What a shit correlation.
And then, and then, my daughter’s birthday is today.
(happy birthday little girl)
And her party is Sunday because that’s when her father can be there too and SOOOOOO….Her party is on th 9th anniversary of her aunt’s suicide!
Suicide may be painless* but it sucks balls.
Big smelly sloppy balls.
And so today, even though I love you V, I say fuck you.
Fuck you for leaving the rest of us behind to deal with your shit.
(I wish. Be sure to tune in next year, same rant time, same rant channel)
(*MASH theme song).
I have been working on a story.
It is an old story that I wrote years ago called SandCastles.
It was a short story about a boy who can build things with his mind.
It seemed weird and wonderful. And then lately, lately, every book is weirder. And more wonderful.
So I am resurrecting it.
It will be a novel. Someday.
And maybe noone will read it.
And maybe someone will read it.
But the maybe is fun.
I have nothing to lose. And no real interest in being published.
Just in telling the story.
Creating the story.
So my new year’s resolution this year is to write, and embrace my artistic side more.
I want to be comfortable in the fact that I am creative.
I create things.
That doesn’t mean I have to dress in flowy skirts and wear scarves for headbands.
But it does mean that I will be trying to hang out with more people who do.
I think I have been looking for friends in the wrong places.
I will start with things that I love. And hope that the people who love those things too will also like me.