I was married in October.
Almost one month to the day after 9-11.
Many of the people who had rsvp’d yes chose not to fly to see me get hitched. I understood (and drank their drinks for them). One man came without his wife and bitterly grumbled about how she was “letting the terrorists win” the whole reception.
I didn’t mind. Nothing bothered me at that point, because by then, I was married.
I dind’t mind that it rained on my outdoor wedding venue. I didn’t mind that my dress had a brown muddy ring on it or that I lost my shoes at some point and was walking around barefoot in the mud. I didn’t mind that my cousin was mad about…something. Or that my mom had not had time to do her own hair because mine had taken so much longer than when she practiced it. I didn’t mind that it ended up looking different too.
I didn’t mind much, because I was married.
I have advice for any of you planning a wedding anytime soon. And here it is: work like hell up until the day of the wedding. Get freaked, annoyed, frustrated and whatever else you want up until the day of the wedding.
And then – let.it.all.go.
I got married.
That was really all I wanted from my wedding. When my love said the vows to me that we had written together I smiled at him and wondered how it was that women got so emotional at weddings. I had been engaged for 2 years, living with my love for almost three, not too much drama in tying the knot.
The vows were nice, afterall I helped write them, but they were’nt new. I had practiced them over and over again to make sure I didn’t stumble.
And I listened to him as he told me that he would love me and I was his best friend and all those other great things we had decided on together and I thought it was sweet and lovely and wonderful.
And then it was my turn.
And I opened my mouth…and sobbed. And couldn’t stop sobbing.
And finally after a few minutes I said –
“What he said”.
And my soon to be husband, smiled, clutched my hand and gently shook his head at the minister as he silently asked if that was enough and should he continue, and he waited.
Holding my hand.
And I stopped crying, pulled myself together and went on…
“Today I marry my best friend…”
And I did.
Happy Anniversary to us. The ride has not always been fun, but it’s always been interesting. And I know we will be fine as long as we face it together.