…and it was all I had.
I am trying to live more deliberately.
I recommend it. Live each moment with purpose.
Sometimes, my purpose is rest and relaxation. Sometimes it is to be a good mom. Sometimes it is just to get through the next few moments…
Whatever – I am trying to have a raison d’etre. An obituary with more than three sentences.
I haven’t found it yet. That main purpose, that calling. aka what I want to do when I grow up.
For a while I thought it was being a mom but as my kids get older I realize two things:
1. I love my children and being a mom.
2. I have very little to do with the final product – they were born from me, not to me – Complete with personalities and abilities I can only guide and encourage – not claim.
And so, now, I am faced with this dilemma. This cross roads of reason.
No. Motherhood is not over for me. Not by a long shot.
But someday, (too soon) mom will not be my primary title.
And who will I be then?