I had a little life on earth…

…and it was all I had.

I am trying to live more deliberately.

I recommend it.  Live each moment with purpose.

Sometimes, my purpose is rest and relaxation.  Sometimes it is to be a good mom.  Sometimes it is just to get through the next few moments…

Whatever – I am trying to have a raison d’etre.  An obituary with more than three sentences.

I haven’t found it yet.  That main purpose, that calling.  aka what I want to do when I grow up.

For a while I thought it was being a  mom but as my kids get older I realize two things:

1. I love my children and being a mom.

2. I have very little to do with the final product – they were born from me, not to me –  Complete with personalities and abilities I can only guide and encourage – not claim.

And so, now, I am faced with this dilemma.  This cross roads of reason.

No. Motherhood is not over for me.  Not by a long shot.

But someday, (too soon) mom will not be my primary title.

And who will I be then?


2 thoughts on “I had a little life on earth…

  1. living intentionally is such a big deal for me. Sometimes I’m great at it, sometimes not so much. But I try.

    I’m scared of who I’ll be 15 years from now. What kind of wife, what kind of woman. Motherhood is so all encompassing that I’m afraid that it will truly- well- encompass all.

  2. I’m right there with you. Even my husband said something about it today. There is aneed, for people like me, to talk to other people like me. Moms of kids with special needs. I need to do it. People need me to do it.

    So I’m gonna do it.

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