The Cliffs of Despair

Name that movie. 1,2,3.

A “sort of” friend posed this question on her facebook page this week.

“Do you ever wonder what your life would have been like if you hadn’t been there that day, that night, done that thing.  It can just come down to that one moment.”

And I have to be honest here.  I DO think about that.

All the time.

I realize that my life now is just the sum of all THOSE moments.

Those tiny decisions that had to be strung together to form the chain of events that is what I live each day.

And in many cases I knew at the time that I was deciding my future.  I stood there at the cross roads with my eyes wide open and I strode confidently down the path I had chosen.  Sometimes my step was not quite as confident, but in all cases I was fully aware that I was deliberately choosing my path.

And then there were times when I had no fucking idea. 

Moments that I couldn’t have planned for, made decisions about or really had any choice in at all. 

Turning left to go home instead of right, and meeting that pick up truck.

Choosing that one job – just because it was closer.

All of these decisions made what would ultimately design the BIG picture.  All of these small(ish) steps in a direction I didn’t know I was choosing.

And when I picture that path I am at the bottom of a big hill so I can’t see where I am going.  But I can see the sun.

And that’s really the way I try to travel through life.  With a sack on the end of a stick resting on my shoulder as I whistle my way along the road of life with no end in sight, no real idea of where I am going.

And always in the sunlight.

I had a good day.  A great day. 

And each step was a decision. 

A sliding door.  Small. 

Insignificant and Important.

What Rodents of Unusual Size?
I don’t think they exist.

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2 thoughts on “The Cliffs of Despair

  1. 1) I love that movie
    2) there is some dumb Dr. Phil thing where he says that we all have 5 (I think it’s 5) defining moments in our life. I get mad because I can’t think of what they are.

    This post makes some of the mad go away.

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