And now a word from our sponsor

So I took an extra week off.

Not really because I needed it,  I just wanted it.  Radio silence seemed like a good thing.

How odd that I had just cleansed out the last incident by posting about it when it struck again?  One wonders about the subconscious.  Doesn’t one?

And this post is going to be about my kids.

Because they are f’ing amazing, wonderful little people.

And I like them a lot.

I once posted about the fact that I love the way life with a toddler means that you always have glitter in your life.

And I meant it.

And my kids are getting older and while my days are still filled with princesses, super heroes and crayons.  They are also filled with conversations and big picture debates.  And it makes me thirsty for more.

The more that maturity will bring them.  And the more that will mean that these conversations will be thought out before hand, and thought provoking.

But at the moment, I am happy with the from the hip conversations we are having.  The ones that are not fully founded in reality (at least as we know it) and the ones that leave PLENTY of room for imagination.

I had a talk with my daughter about art and what is pretty.  And we talked about how it doesn’t matter what other people think, it’s whether or not you like it that matters.  And so I said something like, just like you like Snow White and Ava likes Cinderella.  They are both pretty but you like one more and that’s okay.  It doesn’t mean Ava is wrong, and it doesn’t mean Cinderella is ugly.  It just depends on you.  What you like.

And I have been having ongoing conversations with the boy about the bad guys.  He is very confused by the fact that sometimes they do good things.  And so we spoke about how everyone has some good and bad in them.  And we talked about the fact that just because they are on the wrong side it doesn’t mean they can’t do some good things.  And then we delved a little into how bad guys don’t usually think they are bad, they think they are right and the people they are fighting are bad, just like the good guys.  And he gets some of that.  At three.

So perspective and the concept of good and evil.  Heavy stuff.  But not so much when your conversation includes Disney Princesses and caped super heroes.

I may try to incorporate these into all of my conversations.

I think the rest of my world could use a little glitter.

The Surprise tackle

So, I knew I was pregnant.  Positive pregnancy test and everything. 

Happiness. excitement. etc.

Then.  I got my period.  so miscarriage, right?

right?

and oh my god 10 days of .

acceptance, decsion to get the hubby a V and adopt.

but wait, there’s more. 

Turns out I got pregnant in  the “stump” (dr’s word, hand to god) of the fallopian tube they removed last year.  And it was close to the uterus, so when it blew,  it ruptured that as well.

Yay! Me!

So emergency surgery.  Internal bleeding.

Misdirection, because they were convinced it had to be the OTHER side, because who the hell has a fallopian pregnancy in a tube that’s been removed?!?

Why I do, of course.

So two trips to the OR and three days of morphine drip in the hospital later I am sent home with vicodin and the reassurance that I can of course try again. 

“Sure you can, still one good set still in tact and functioning.”

And so as I sit nursing 16 staples, three stitched up wounds from the failed laproscopy, and a 6-8 inch incision, I gotta tell you that there is no way in hell.  none.

Adoption.

or happiness with two.

Those are my only options.

And the best part?

They are both wonderful choices.  Seriously.

I am no fool.  I know how lucky I am.

So life is not all bad.

And I haven’t even had a pill yet today.

Thanks for the good wishes, they are truly appreciated.  I will return to work and normal programming next week, promise.  This week I am just wallowing. 

I feel I’ve earned it.