To start my Monday morning off right – I had to come in and lay some one off. Someone that I like.
And on Friday I got to explain in great detail why this had to be done to a fellow manager – while she looked stricken, and teary and told me that she felt like she might vomit.
So in essence, I got to fire this person twice.
And it colored my entire weekend.
I woke up twice last night having dreamed that I was in the process of this meeting with this almost-former employee and something horrible had happened.
Namely, I had had to fire him.
So really, I have fired this person 4 times and it has taken me three days.
Being locked in an office while people come in to get fired, be let go, terminated, etc. is my truest definition of hell.
And I have been fired.
It’s not as bad. And the time I was fired? It was bad.
And I feel like I should point out that I am not a wimp. And I am not overly emotional. But this is hard.
And I remind myself that it’s good that it bothers me because I am not sure I would want to be the person who ISN’T effected by this.
But that doesn’t help that much.
So, despite the great effort I have made in the past three weeks to avoid sweets and make healthy food choices, I had carrot cake for breakfast.
And I am feeling a little better already.