My baby girl

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Happy birthday Little one.

Five years ago today I was sent home from the hospital with what they thought was false labor.  It was two days later that they realized their mistake and you came into the world after 72 hours of labor amid much concern and fanfare.  Everyone was worried about you.  Mostly because you didn’t come into this world screaming.  You were quiet and alert.  But you were healthy.

Your father was worried sick.  He wanted very much for you to make your presence known and he didn’t like all the nurses trying so hard to not seem concerned about your silence.  I was never worried, I knew you were just taking it all in.

It took you 45 minutes to realize what had happened.  That you were forever exiled from the warm comfort of mommy’s tummy.  And then you wailed.  Making everyone, but me, feel much better.

You were a great baby.  Looking back from the perspective of baby number 2 you were not my easiest but at the time I was pretty smug in your “good baby status.  You were happy to sleep in your crib from the first night home.  You were easy to nurse back to sleep when you woke in the middle of the night and for the most part you were a happy easy baby.

You did have a witching hour and for several months between the hours of 5 and 6pm each night you made us earn our titles as parent by crying off and on as we bounced, patted and placated you.

You suffered from the terrible eighteen months.  There were four or five years months in which you threw tantrums in stores that everyone feared, especially those that didn’t know you.  You would launch yourself onto the floor with all limbs flailing and WAIL the injustice to the world.   The sight of me physically removing you from  the scene of  such an incident while  very pregnant with your brother had to be pretty interesting to watch.  And a lot of people got to see it.

When your brother was born I lost my place as first in your life as you and your father became a team.  And while it made me sad I was also glad to see you take your rightful place as daddy’s little girl.  It was a spot I enjoyed, and still do, all my life so I knew it was good for you.

As with me and my mom, the tides turned back around and after the newness (and neediness) of your baby brother settled down, so did our relationship.  We’re buddies again.  And I am very glad to have you back.

When you were born I loved you instantly in a way I had not know was possible.  In a way that you will not truly understand until you have children one day.  If you choose to have children that is.

And now that you are a little girl instead of a baby or a toddler  – you amaze me even more than ever.  You are smart and compassionate.  You are manipulative and stubborn.  You are this wonderful person – a good daughter, friend and big sister.

And even though I still caution you to be more careful with the parts of your body I worked so hard to create, you are much less my creation than you have been.

You are busy creating yourself and I am awed to bear witness to it.

So I wish you a happy fifth, Princess.

I love you more each day.

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