Not so much a let down

As much as it was a never revved up.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Christmas.  Always have, hopefully always will.  And it is a huge testament to my parents that I still felt the sensational magic of Christmas morning well into my 20’s

But because of this, my first two Christmases with my husband were a huge disappointment.  I woke in the morning still feeling the santa vibe and…well there was no Santa to be found.

And so this was the first year when my complete and utter focus was on the Christmas my kids would have.  I knew exactly what I was getting for my present and so there was no “surprise” element to contend with.  Somehow that was easier, better even.  Because somehow what you imagine is never quite as good as what you get.  Except when it was better.

I once got a horse for Christmas.

A horse.

How can you even come close to that?

So this year I chose my present myself, knew exactly where it sat for the week before Christmas and even wrapped it myself.  And so that I was not the only person with an empty stocking (again) this year, I bought myself some cute little items and stuffed my own stocking.  And somehow that was okay.

The whole thing was okay.  Better than okay really.

I enjoy being Santa.  And while it is not nearly as much fun as believing in Santa was, it is still fun.

And  while I am glad the holiday’s are over, I look forward to next year.  And even though I don’t get to ride on the sleigh – I did get to eat the cookies.

Ho ho ho.


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